This subject is so important I don’t think I can stress enough the power in forgiving. The freedom that forgiving brings us. So many of us are shackled to the past because we still can’t let go of our past pains and wrong doings. In today’s blog I’m going to try and show you that forgiving isn’t only therapeutic but truly empowering and essential for our personal growth.

Recently I heard Russel Brand talking about resenting our family, holding on to our perceived wrong doings and blaming our family for all our problems we now face. This is the same for anyone we see as doing us wrong in the past. Not at any point here am I saying that anyones specific experiences from the past are not worthy of you anger or resentment. Nor do I condone any terrible actions of people that you may say don’t deserve your forgiveness. Though you may be right I want to tell you my friend, this journey of forgiveness is as much for you as them.

The old analogy comes to mind that fits this description,

“Holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot coal, it is only you that gets burnt.”

This is so true. Having such a negative link to the past means that we become stuck repeating the same patterns that our governed by that moment. When we are put in a position that triggers the same feeling as our past pain we will over react and self-sabotage out of pure fear. Our inner child, if you will, takes over and puts up the shield of protection whatever that may be. It comes out in many ways, anger management issues, anxiety, depression, being closed off, arrogance (it is just fear disguised as self love) and many more….

It hinders the most wonderful parts of our lives that should have a beneficial nature for us. Relationships, jobs, finances, friendships, expression and in extreme circumstances, our health.

emotional tension leads to physical tension. How many of you out there suffer with bad back or shoulder tension, yet the physical reason for it is no where to be found? My friends don’t underestimate the power of our feelings over our body in both positive and negative ways. Don’t fear though nothing is forever. Today could be the first step to letting go of the past and the route to that is FORGIVENESS.

How can I forgive someone who hurt me so much?

This road to forgiveness isn’t always easy. It takes time so go easy on yourself you can do this.

“Everyone is doing the best with what they know”

Sometimes to forgive we have to understand the person and where they have come from. If it is your parents ask them about their upbringing. Louise Hay of “You Can Heal Your Life” said some powerful words.

“We are all victims of victims”

With this understanding you can realise they were just as lost and frightened as they made you feel. Does this make it ok. No it doesn’t but from that place you can start to forgive to release the emotional power they hold over you. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you have to agree with what happened or understand it. It is your time to let it go and I want you to feel so empowered by that.

Sometimes you might need a slightly more physical release. When there is so much emotional energy of anger. Punch the pillow or scream in the car. Let out the emotional energy then it will be easier to forgive.

“The past has no power over me, I let go of the past and move forward confidently into my new beginnings”

You must forgive yourself.

Many of us blame ourselves or everything bad that happens in our lives. Constantly looking back and saying how terrible we are. I need to tell you something, you are not terrible you are great. You were also  just doing your best with what you knew. Wel,l now you know better and can grow and move forward.

Learn and grow from the past don’t get stuck there. Let yourself release the self hatred. Look at the exercise coming up in the next chapter and do it daily

Forgiving yourself if you are sick

Having a chronic illness is not your fault. You may blame yourself for getting ill. you may feel like a burden or even sometimes like half a person. My friends your are whole and beautiful. Forgive yourself, please. Let go of the guilt. You are not your illness and when you come to terms with that you can start to live your best life. How can we forgive from this stand point?

EXERCISE

Go to the mirror look deep into your own eyes and say

“(Your name) I forgive you, it is ok to let go now. I love and approve of you just as you are”

Forgive yourself and love yourself. You can’t love yourself and feel angry or guilty or shameful at the same time. This same technique can be used for any self resentment issues too.

Once you let go, just see how the blocks in your life open up and you seamlessly flow with life that bit easier.

Remember be easy on yourself and take your time. Changing our mindset and life is daily work and celebrate each little step along the way.

Michael Watson

Confidence Coach